A Special E-mail...

Everyone has that one person that can always brighten your day when things just aren't going they way you want them. Just seems like one thing leads to another that leads to another and your frustration reaches at its peak and you loose it. You start yelling at the first person that you talk to, you throw everything in your path, or you simply just hide your face in your arms or blanket. You think about how all these things could possible keep coming your way. Well the moving hasn't quite hit me that hard but you get my train of thought. You all know that I don't want to move, but that one person who has backed me up from the start of my dream when I was a little girl was my mom. She has been there for me from the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day's to when my dreams have been answered. She sent my this uplifting email yesterday that just seem to hit home for me.  I have attached the email below for you all to read. (the larger and italicized words are previous blog postings, you can click on them if you forgot what they are about)

HI BREE,

YOU NEED TO BE SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

YOUR DREAMS AND CAREER WILL BE DONE IN 2 YEARS.

JUST THINK YOU CAN LOOK IN THE CITIES FOR A JOB IF THIS IS THE CITY YOU REALLY LIKE.  

Not everyone is made to live in the twin cities. Look at your brother he thought he wanted to go to school in the twin cities and when we went to tour he said on the way home, I love the school but don't like the twin cities at all. I am not going to school down here.  It is not for me.

So he was lucky to get into Wadena and that was wonderful for him, As for you now you are living there and getting a real feel of what you like. Hey great you can look into a job in 2 years or maybe intern there. I know you made a move but for some reason your dreams are coming true sooner than you thought. Remember when you were so blue last fall. Hey look at you now your accepted how wonderful........

You know Tom is a great guy and such a great friend. He understands and is happy for you. He will also be so busy in school and look at this Bree what is 2 hours. It is nothing. Remember you will be so busy in school too. Your week will be full and I am sure Tom will be happy to see you on the weekends. This will make your relationship just that much stronger.

You will look back at this as your grow in your future and be happy about your journey that took your there. I do recall when we first moved you there you were so sad and homesick. Now look at you.You met so many friends. These friends will be there for you forever.....

Dad and I are So PROUD of you.

Your dreams of being a Dental Hygienist 

have come true......

HANG IN THERE

WE LOVE YOU BREE   

MOM & DAD

It was something that hit very home to me and I’m thankful to hve such accepting parents. They weren’t one bit concerned about moving me once again in such a short time frame, they were full of joy and happiness that it didn’t matter. I have waited to long to turn down an offer that is so good.

I really think the reason I was so torn at first is because I couldn’t believe that I really got the letter. I was in shock and denial that I was a one out of eighteen student’s to be picked out of a hundred. Rightfully so who wouldn’t be. Right? I think I just learned and accepted over patiently waiting for this that that it was going to take awhile and I should take a new stop towards my career. That was the choice I made and learned to think that the best choice was moving and going for Dental Assistant. It was a great decision and I recommend it to anyone who is taking this path in the dental career path.  So, when I found out that I was accepted in Duluth for Dental Hygiene it threw me for a loop that I’d never imagine would happen so fast. All I needed was some time and space to sort out the mixed feelings that I went through. Just a reminder that less that one month I switched careers, moved to a new city, new school, and made new friends. Adapted well and just learning my way around and really starting to like the big city lifestyle. As soon as I got everything down and all unpacked it all happened again. I have another move back to a familiar place, but still a new whole program, career choice, and a new home. I think anyone would be a bit down, frustrated, but most of all extremely happy that I’m doing this when I’m young. Thank you for the letter Lake Superior College, it has made my dream start to feel like reality.

I have mixed feelings...

Yep, another acceptance letter has arrived. The letter that I have been patiently waiting for, for the last year and a half.

Things happen, decisions change, dreams change, although this happens to many people my dream remands the same. I will do whatever it takes to be successful in my life and with that being said I will be moving back to Duluth, MN in Fall 2010. I have gotten the acceptance letter for their Dental Hygiene Program. I have many mixed feels about this because I'm happy down in the twin cities, I'm content, and to be truly honest I love living here. However, with that being said I'll share the story of how I found how this exciting news.

I have mixed feelings...

I was just relaxing at home watching T.V. and was looking over my homework to see what needed to get accomplished that day. When I received a phone call from my mom. To be honest I was scared to answer the phone call, do to the fact I was thinking it could be bad news, I didn't want to here. However I answered it with a irritated "Hello". The first words that came shooting out of her mouth with excitment were.

GUESS WHAT!!!

My exact words were "what now?"

YOU GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE

DENTAL HYGIENE PROGRAM

IN DULUTH FOR FALL OF

2010!

The words that came out of my mouth

were not very pleasant. I didn't know

what to say other

than are you kidding me.

She quickly asked aren't you excited,

this is awesome news for you!

Well that conversation kept that same tone in my voice. I honestly didn't know what to think. The things that were racing through my head were making me speechless. I don't want to move, I love it down here,  I just got unpacked, what should I do?

I have mixed feelings...

OF COURSE I took up the offer and sent in my deposit to hold my position and I'm sooooo excited to know that I will be done with school in two years and on with my life. My dream has been answered and I feel so happy. My success and patience is paying off in the end but...

I have mixed feelings...

I feel the reason behind the mixed feelings are simple to discuss now that I have had time to think it over. I have already committed to move away from everyone in Duluth, MN to move on with my life. I had to do the right thing and accept the letter for Dental Assistant School. I felt at that time it was the best decision I could make for my life. I'm learning down here, meeting new people, and living close to my best friend and cousin Tami. I have grown accustomed to not living by my boyfriend, my friends, and the city of Duluth. As I made the move I knew in a couple months my boyfriend Tom would be moving back home for good and we would be close again. I wouldn't have to do this long distance stuff that just simply is no fun. However, with my moving back to Duluth, MN in the fall and living there for two years just makes me have those mixed emotions. Those feelings that make your heart heavy, your stomach tight, your head hurt, and tears run. The feelings of why now? Those fretful feelings that make you feel lost for words. Yep, I cried in pain and happiness when I received this letter. I had no one to tell my boyfriend was currently in Mexico with his family, so I dialed all my friends and sent out text messages to my close friend in Duluth, MN. They sent back happy texts and congratulations that made me feel better. But still had those mixed emotions that may just take awhile to accept.

I still have those mixed feelings...

Well, the apartment and housing in on the search again, some of my boxes I'm just going to leave packed up nice and tight. I have accomplished one thing and that is I found a roommate that was more than ecstatic to find out I was moving back and wanted to live with her. I will for sure keep you posted on once again another big move! As for now I'm going to finish off my semester down here and live the city life for five to eight more months.

Happy New Year...

A little late but here is a recap of Year 2009. I thought it would be fun to see all the things Tom and I did over the course of a year together. To be honest I had a hard time thinking of what happened each month, but I believe I got all the important dates down. I also through in a few pictures as well, so it does tend to get a tad long. Enjoy!

January- Tom and I took a Hiking trip in Chester Park when we returned to Duluth, MN from Christmas vacation.We also enjoyed countless hours on the ice playing hockey.

February- We took a trip down the St. Paul for a Minnesota Wild game on Valentines Day.

March-I turned 20 on the 20th of March and Tom celebrated his 21st birthday. Also Tom got to celebrate the final 5 championship of the Bulldogs down in the Twin Cities with his family. I also got a job at the CSL Plasma Center in Duluth, MN

April- This month was just as busy as every other month with getting ready for summer vacation.

May-Tom ended his Junior Year At UMD and I ended my Sophomore Year at LSC. I took my first plane ride down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to celebrate end of finals and to take a vacation with eight of my friends.

June-Tom started his UROP research for the summer under Dr. Drews. We also took a trip up the North Shore to Gooseberry falls and Split Rock with Tom's parents.

July- Spent countless hours at Potatoe Lake in Park Rapid, MN and Fox Lake in Bemidji, MN.

August- Tom took his MCAT, which is an entrance exam for medical school. We also took advantage of being at the lake for countless days of relaxing before we went back to school. I went to the Minnesota State Fair for the first time with Tom's family.

September- We both started school. We also celebrated our one year at the Melting Pot for dinner and went to a Minnesota Wild game with his brother to top off the weekend.

October- Tom found out his score on his MCAT and was very happy with his final score. I created this blog to keep family and friends updated with current events and pictures.

November- Tom began filling out countless applications for Medical School and typing many entrance essays. We also took an amazing hike in Chester Park before the snow hit Minnesota for the winter.

December- I got accepted to Hennepin Tech for Dental. Also, begain the packing process to move down to St. Paul, MN from Duluth, MN. Last but not least we spent a night in Bentlyville before Christmas vacation.

Check back tomorrow on how my first

week of school went and how I'm

adjusting...

Believe...

Do you ever get that feeling where you want to stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head and hide? That feeling when you wake up not wanting to face reality of the real world.  You feel like you just can't get a break from the heartache of hurt that’s been killing you and pulling you apart. That feeling that wont go away and is always in the back of your head. When you are listening to a song and the tears flow down your cheeks, watching a movie and remember just why you have been having a hard week, or receive a phone call that reminds you again why life is just not fair. Those words in the song strikes you deeply and have no other option but shed a tear, or when you are watching that movie and a scene hits you. The pain you experience is hard to ignore, push to the side, and live on your day. You want to step out of reality for a day without feeling fear, hurt, and reminders that life is not fair.

 A feeling of why is a common question someone who is facing an illness or disease in the family. When a child is suffering, when an adult is fighting, or when an elder is fighting to live a little longer. Acceptance is hard to find when you are watching a loved one suffer; you want answers, solutions, medications, and a cure. When those fail you feel helpless, but still want those magical words that are as simple as answers to why and how. Why my family, why my son or daughter, why me, how could this happen?  Tears fill up your eyes, roll down your flesh, and hit your clothing as you come to terms with reality. You fall to your knees and pray and pray that he can send down a miracle. Your knees become dirty and your hands become one as you try to fight for answers, and hope. Your family becomes your shoulders to cry on during those down and hard times. Through the heartache and sleepiness nights you start to loose your hope and feel betrayed. The hate starts building up, but you still Believe.

My family on my mom’s side has been through it a lot and feels like every generation something new hits us and our hearts tremble in hurt. Something new has hit us over the past few months and I feel this post puts in words some days how you feel when all you have left is to get on your knees and pray. We all have are good and bad days, but when its something serious about a love one its not something you can put away on a shelf, forget about it, and come back to it later. Day after day we pray and with this I ask you to help us pray for my little cousin Caleb who was diagnosed with Cystinosis, which is a rare genetic disorder. I have also added a few songs to the top of my play list that have helped give me courage and strength to never let go. 

We love you Caleb and hope you

get answers in Washington.

We're praying for you buddy!

Why...

As I sit here and ponder on all the things that are running through my head, and think why hasn't this big move hit me yet? Why does it feel like its perfect transition for me? Why haven't I felt that pain of wanting to go back to Duluth so bad? Why haven't I felt homesick yet? These plus many more questions are flooding my brain and I seem to not have an answer for any of them.

Don't get me wrong I love Duluth, and yes I miss my friends dearly, but to me this feels like a dream come true. This is everything I wanted and more. You remember when you were a child and dreamed of becoming famous, a doctor, a musician, a firefighter, a magician, or being in a rock band? Your parents would just laugh at you and tell you "You can be whatever you want, we will always love you". From that you always got the impression that they will always be happy for you as long as your happy by making those dreams come true. Right? As many know occupations change of the years of your childhood and as you grow up they become more practical. For instance, a salesman, a nurse, and a teacher. But in some parents minds they still want their child to be famous or to be that doctor. Why? Why can't you let your child dream? Why push that child away from there dream of being a teacher? It's not all about money, or being famous, its about chasing that dream into reality. It's about becoming that adult you want to be, that person you want to become. Thankfully for my parents they gave me there input on how they felt on my decision in life and went no further. My dream ever since middle school was to become a Dental Hygienist. My parents were a little shocked at first and to where about I came up with this, but they supported me one hundred percent behind my dream. To look back at this makes me grin from ear to ear. Most parents would be pushing their child to do better, for instance to become a nurse instead. However, mine did the exact opposite and are supporting me to my dream.

So why do these questions still keep flooding my head...


why?


The question is answered on why this move hasn't hit me yet, why I haven't gotten homesick, and why It's a perfect transition. Every since I was a little I always would tell my parents that I wanted to end up in the big city. The city with traffic, the lights, the shopping malls, the people, but yet still be close to family. I would ask why don't we live here? Why do we live in no mans land? Why? Why? Why? As with many kids that is a come question to ask. My mom would tell me dad's and I dream wasn't to live in the big city, it was to be in a small community with family. I'm following my little kid dream and ending up in the big city with the endless possibilities. I'm also furthering my education to become a Dental Hygienist and I feel that is why I haven't felt any regrets with this move. Because I'm where I want to be and my dream is about to come true. With that I leave you with a quote that I read quite often when I patiently waited for the acceptance letter to come in mail.

Making Dreams Come True

If you desire to move forward in life towards fulfillment,
you should not, at any time complain about the obstacles.

To complain of difficulties is to betray weakness and lack of faith.
Every obstacle is a golden opportunity for further progress.

Those who transfer obstacles into opportunities are true leaders.
They make dreams come true.

-Pravs J-

The Big move...

I'm Back, sorry for the delay in the new year posts. I hope everyone had a great Christmas with their families and a Happy New Year!

The big move is done. The boxes are unpacked, my bed is made, and my T.V. is out of its box and the clothes are neatly hung and folded in there new spots. Oh, how it feels good to have this done and out of the way. There are many things that are still flying through my mind, but will have to wait until my energy is back to par. Or, should I say, when I'm ready to tackle some more boxes. The truth is I'm running out of spots to put things, so until I make a six hour journey home, they will sit in a corner untouched. Which for now is okay. I'm finally kicking up my feet for my last week of Christmas vacation and enjoying my time with my boyfriend Tom and his family. It has been a great transition. I'm loving trying new restaurants, seeing new things, but still trying to conquer the city driving, but that will come with time.