News That Hit Me Hard Cont....

Later on that night when the news was still so new to me. It still hurt to talk about it, but I found ways to think on the positive side of things. I had to for my dad. For my mom. For my Parents. We sat around the living room talking about the endless possibilities that come with this big move. Along with the good and talking positive, I was still thinking about the bad. How couldn't I? How could I just let this news be okay within a few hours, I physically couldn't. My body doesn't allow me to move on that quick. I usually em one to sit back, soak it all in, and then after its soaks in I'm ready to talk about it. But, when that particular moment hits usually tears are endured, my body will ache, my heart will feel empty, and I need the right person to be there to share this particular moment with me. Someone that is close to me like a best friend. And that one person was there for me at that given moment when it hit...

I said my goodnights and headed up the stairs to my bedroom. As I was gathering my bedtime supplies and heading to the bathroom, I hear faint footsteps coming up the stairs. As I opened the bathroom door, with a toothbrush in hand and toothpaste in mouth, my mom gives me a sly smile and stands there and talks to me. After I was finished brushing my teeth I had so much to say, but I couldn't find the words. I took one step and fell into her arms and thats the moment I will never forget. It hit hard. So hard I started to cry, then the crying turned to bawling. I cried tell it hurt, tell my tears were dry, tell my head hurt and as I cried I thought one thing, this is my "home". Our "home." My arms were so tight around my mom that I couldn't move nor could she. I wanted this pain to disappear, and the more I cried the more my mom tried to console me. "I know this is hard.".... "I know this sucks.".....  "Don't worry I cried too"...."Just like you, I tried thinking of every excuse.".... "Everything is going to be alright.".... At that moment is was so hard to think of the positive, but as I pulled myself together I tried.

One last time I said my goodnights and I was off to bed. As I crawled into bed with my fuzzy (if you missed that post you may click on the word fuzzy) wrapped in-between my arms and I held on tight. I thought to myself this is the house I spent 21 years in, we have holiday traditions and memories, special seats at the table, which non of these can come with us. My brother and I have countless memories in the backyard, fishing by the river, and wresting matches in the living room. As these memories were flashing through my head,  my eyes were getting heavy, were wet from crying, and I was extremely exhausted. They slowly closed and I drifted into sleep. The next morning was a brand new day, and things became easier. The words of moving became easier to say and I was happy. I was happy for my parents. Not being able to share the news with anyone else but my immediate family members was hard, but it helped with the healing process. I'm happy to say I have grown to accept this and like I mentioned before nothing can take the memories away from my childhood home. They will be with me forever. Through stories we share, pictures we look at, and memories we have will all make the childhood I had still fresh with or without the house.