News that hit me hard...

I'm sure most of you know that the big move for my family is quickly approaching and feelings are still mixed but we are slowly becoming excited. The move that use to be dreadful, tiresome, and heart wrenching, is starting to feel like a new journey that entitles so much more to life. Well this next few days I'm going to share with you some feelings that I wrote down when I heard this for the first time. The feelings that I truly felt. The feelings of packing up and moving onto another new journey of life.

As most of you know I hadn't made it home between Christmas and Easter and my parents were longing to see my face and hold me in their arms after many months of only phone calls and emails. My mom was itching to have me home to talk about girls things, new additions to the house, and most of all to tell me some "news." Little did I know that the "news" that I was told was going to be so heart wrenching. 

As I was rolling my suitcase up the breezeway to my home, my mom comes bolting out of the garage with open arms to welcome me home. It felt so good to be wrapped up in my moms arms so tight again and to be told she loved me. Ah, the feelings of being kissed, hugged, and the words "I loved you" from your mom is something you can never get sick of. As I quickly picked up my bags again and started heading to the house my mom said "Hurry up and drop your things off and come out to the garage, Dad and I have something to tell you." My mind was racing "What could it be?" "Could it be a new car?" "Could it be that their finally giving me their blazer?" As I quickly dropped my items off I ran to the garage where my parents where out discussing things about the home. I didn't think anything of it because that seems to be a normal conversation when the weather starts getting warmer. Then my mom says "Well dad has something to tell you." As I sat on the driving lawn mower and my eyes glued at my  dad lips until the words came out of his mouth

"WERE MOVING"

"What!" I gasped and then the tears rolled down my cheeks like stream. My heart sank like a one hundred pounds of bricks were tugging it down. My heart hurt like a thousand needles were stuck in it. My heart felt was aching, it felt looniness, and it felt that there was a hole in it that wouldn't heal. My mind was racing, I couldn't think nor focus. 

I had every excuse out of the book like diarrhea of the mouth before I even asked the details. I was shocked, I was mad, I was sad, I was heartbroken. My childhood memories, my life, my hometown is all in a little town called Warren, MN. Why can't we stay? This is home.This is all I have ever known to call "Home." But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't about me, it was about my dad, my mom, my parents. It's a opportunity to make my dad's dream come true, and to advance in his career. He has waited a long time for this and if anyone knows that you have to be patient when you chase your dreams it should be me. After all the obstacles I went around, the moving, and the new decisions I had to face in the last year and half should just be an example that life moves on.

 And when my family finds a home in Mahnomen, MN, it will feel like home again when all four of us are together. Laughing amongst a golden fire in the backyard, dancing around the kitchen preparing a meal, or singing to some tunes while cleaning the house. It will feel like home because we are together as a family. This move can't take away our memories, our family traditions, nor our childhood. We will pack them up and move on to a new chapter in life that will just add more to our story called "life."